"It's the West Virginia of deer."
	-- a coworker describes the albino deer that are at the 
	   Seneca army base (January 2005).

A recent CNN poll asked Americans whether George W. Bush has been
a uniter or a divider.  48% said "uniter," 48% said "divider," and
4% had no opinion.[1]  Since then it's now 49%, 49%, and 2%.[2]

1. CNN, Oct 25, 2004, http://edition.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/25/national.poll/
2. CNN, Jan 19, 2005, http://edition.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/19/poll/

"Next thing you'll tell me you didn't have enough fish sweat to properly
perform The Binding on the doors and windows.  You think a handful of
Klingon and Elvish characters will hold out for very long against a trill
of Sturges, especially if they're driven by a hungry Underlord?"

"Relax, we performed The Binding.  AND we did The Loosening.  Not to
mention The Quickening, The Vacuuming, The Changeling AND The Changing
(and The Diaper Changing and The Diaper Changeling), The Mashed Potato
and The Twist."
	-- Timothy reassures Frank on his parenting skils (February 2005).

 > Is that your dark secret?  Liz is just an excuse so you can watch
 > Steel Magnolias again and again, tearing up each time...
Good one.  Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get a Meg Ryan DVD and
a box of tissues.   And some lotion.
	-- Pierce replies to Frank accusation (February 2005).

"A cock doesn't have one."
	-- Jenny describes bird anatomy (February 2005).

If you're lucky, they'll just show you the door.
If you're unlucky, they'll make you listen to their poetry before
showing you the door.

Hmmm, I wonder what corporate poetry would sound like.
	-- Lisa ponders Frank's meeting with The Vogons (February 2005).

>  > Many pixels make... something.
> Was that something your great grandmother always use to say?

I never met her.  But I would assume so until proven otherwise.

> And was that the reason they, well, you know, did the operation?

Let's not kid ourselves: they did "the operation" because they got a
kick out of it.  Power corrupts, and unregulated power corrupts in
inverse proportion to the square of the nominal voltage change dt.  But,
you can mitigate the effects by simply taping any common diode to the
outside of the cable entering your house - size doesn't matter, but
ensure correct polarity by dowsing.

God, I love a good fever.  Let me know if you want me to cough on you.
	-- Timothy in a good rant (Feburary 2005).

"I just pulled that number out of my butt."
  "Far be it from me to push it back in."
	-- Far be it from Timothy to underprice a job price estimate
	   from Frank  (March 2005).

"I hate when I buy vegetables and wind up not using them."
  "We make soup at least once a week.  And I don't mean the kind you can eat."
	-- Frank has vegetable problems, Moof has science experiement.
	   (March 2005).
 
"It's too early in the day for cake, so I'll just have champaign."
	-- A professor we're working with has strict standards  (April 2005).

"All this hand waving...after a while it's more exercise than Thai-Chi."
	-- A co-worker is tired of explaining things  (April 2005).

Saw a prius pulled over for speeding today.  Why does the cop bother,
because that shit will just get thrown out by a judge...

"prius speeding?  HA!  only if the owner is peddling as fast as they can."
	-- Sue B.'s observation (May 2005).



Co-worker-Rob's Generic Powerpoint presentation:

Problem: Can't easily meet the objective.

Objective: Solve the Problem.

Challenges:
	- The Problem is not well-defined.
	- The Problem is complex and subtle.
	- Previous approaches to solving the Problem are inadequate (insecure, not scalable, ...).

Approach: Solve the problem step by step.

Current status: In progress.

Motivation: The Problem needs solving.

Impact: We will have solved the Problem.
	-- technically, this is from October 2005, but who's counting.

"My boss is like Mr. Rodgers in a white coat -- not like a straight
jacket white coat."
	-- Diane describes her boss, they are veterinarians (July 2005).

"It's over 80 today so I'm itching to get outside.  But the stories are 
on the TV INside, so i'm sure you can see my dilemna."
	-- Diane: a girl's got to have her stories (July 2005).

"The way it's described they actually fly.  Rowling's never really
discussed the physics of it.  I'm sure we could work up a thermodynamic
theory under which the whole thing would work.  Sure, it might mean the
universe dies a few billion years sooner, but what the hell."
	-- Deepak on Harry Potter owl physics (July 2005).

"Oh, yes, the driveway, which my husband wants us to blacktop together.
The fastest road to divorce court."
	-- Kathy Lemos, marriage counselor? (July 2005).

"I keep hoping Godzilla is going to show up.  It hasn't happened so far."
	-- Lisa wants Godzilla to show up in Ann Arbor from The Home
	   Office in Tokyo and shake things up a bit (August 2005).


"2 weeks in Pittsburgh?  You'll be burned out"

  "Actually, just 3 days in Pittsburgh.  From Friday till a
   week from Sunday, I'll be in New Orleans.  Different kind
   of burned out..."

"Sorry Frank, that's 'strung out.'"
	-- Sue corrects Frank on semantics (August 2005).

"Mad science can only do so much without the support of mad charity."
	-- Timothy Weber (October 2005).

"The value of a good incantation is not necessarily related to its efficacy."
	-- Timothy on Perl code (October 2005).

Rose definitely will collapse under the weight of her own mascara in the
next couple of episodes.

The dalek downloaded the internet?  Wouldn't it implode under the weight of
all that porn?
	-- Sue B.'s thoughts on the new Dr. Who series (October 2005).

"[He's an] Audiophile, bibliophile,"

  "Isn't that illegal in many states?  Oddly enough, probably in places
  where being a pedophile is NOT illegal..."

"I know it's illegal in Kansas to have sex with a Bible in the presence
of minor livestock... unless you're also concealing a firearm...

For some value of "know"..."
	-- random email conversation from Timothy and Frank (November 2005).

"You got your given name, your religious name, your Indian name, your
Internet name, your Dentist name, your toddler name..."
	-- Timothy Weber on names (November 2005).

After which he'd quote Milton or Melville or Voltaire and then put the
fish in you anyway just to demonstrate that he's evil.  No, better to
get the fish put in you, and then, agonizingly, kill yourself to save
James T. Kirk.  That is the warrior's way.
	-- Frank and Deepak discuss if Kahn had used the South American
	   candirú fish, which  can swim up a urethra (November 2005).

"He kept acting like there were never any allusions in the old series.  
As if the Master wasn't a huge leather queen."
	-- Sue B. on Dr. Who (November 2005).