From jain@cs.cornell.edu Thu Apr 2 22:12:11 1992 Received: from CLOYD.CS.CORNELL.EDU by mail.cis.ohio-state.edu (5.61-kk/5.911008) id AA10072; Thu, 2 Apr 92 22:12:06 -0500 Received: from EIR.CS.CORNELL.EDU by cloyd.cs.cornell.edu (5.65/I-1.98P) id AA10916; Thu, 2 Apr 92 22:12:01 -0500 Date: Thu, 2 Apr 92 22:12:01 -0500 From: jain@cs.cornell.edu (Neel K. Jain) Message-Id: <9204030312.AA08876@eir.cs.cornell.edu> Received: by eir.cs.cornell.edu (5.65/N-0.12) id AA08876; Thu, 2 Apr 92 22:12:00 -0500 To: frank@cis.ohio-state.edu Status: RO Article: 80262 of rec.humor From: ajs@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Alan Silverstein) Date: Mon, 30 Mar 1992 20:06:18 GMT Subject: Re: REQUEST: One line quotes Message-ID: <17500151@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA Path: cornell!batcomputer!rpi!usc!sdd.hp.com!hpscdc!hplextra!hpfcso!ajs Newsgroups: rec.humor References: Lines: 390 > Does anyone have a collection of one line quotes from famous people, > humorous of course preferred. Will this do? 383 lines, all <= 80 characters, all in the humor category. Are they all from famous people? Yup, they're all famous now. :-) " " -- Harpo Marx ...all the modern inconveniences... -- Mark Twain A backscratcher will always find new itches. -- Gomme A cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. -- Mark Twain A committee is an animal with at least six legs, and no brain. -- Heinlein A dean is to a faculty as a hydrant is to a dog. -- Alfred Kahn A fail-safe circuit will destroy others. -- Klipstein A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. -- Wright A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. -- Wilcox A Renaissance man diffuses to refine himself. -- Steve Hug A sinking ship gathers no moss. -- Donald Kaul A theory is better than its explanation. -- Woodward A university without students is like an ointment without a fly. -- Ed Nather A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on. -- Samuel Goldwyn A waist is a terrible thing to mind. -- Ziggy A watched clock never boils. -- Tom Weller About when we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. -- Hoover Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) -- Stafford Beer Adventure is a sign of incompetence. -- Amundsen After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done. -- Olmstead All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. -- Lauris All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power. -- Brilliant All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats. -- Groucho Marx All signs in metric for the next 20 miles. -- road sign in Ohio All the good ones are taken. -- Harris All the men on my staff can type. -- Bella Abzug Am I in charge here?... No, but I'm full of ideas. -- Dr. Who Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. -- McCarthy Among economists, the real world is often a special case. -- Horngren An apple a day makes 365 apples a year. -- Tom Weller An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. -- Van Roy Any country with "democratic" in the title isn't. -- Murray Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way. -- Malek Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours. -- Holmes Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Goldwyn Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. -- Pardo Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious. -- James Hogan Arithmetic: Counting to twenty without taking off your shoes. -- Mickey Mouse Art is anything you can get away with. -- Marshall McLuhan As God is my witness, Andy, I thought that turkeys could fly. -- WKRP At these prices, I lose money -- but I make it up in volume. -- Peter Alaquon Bachelor: A selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. -- Quinn Banectomy: The removal of bruises on a banana. -- Rich Hall Baseball is to football as Beethoven is to rap. -- Patrick Mott Be careful of reading health books; you might die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here. -- James Kirk Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money. -- Hall Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats. -- O'Neill Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -- Mae West Bore: Wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary. -- Winchell Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think. -- Ambrose Bierce Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. -- J. McCabe Business will be either better or worse. -- Calvin Coolidge But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me? -- Midler California is proud to be the home of the freeway. -- Ronald Reagan Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions. -- Aldous Huxley Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. -- Peter Ustinov Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. -- Milton Berle Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by age 18. -- Einstein Confound those who have said our remarks before us. -- Aelius Donatus Confucius say too much. -- recent Chinese proverb Congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom. -- Rep. Bill Schuette (R-MI) Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. -- H. L. Mencken Conscience: The inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking. -- Mencken Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. -- Bierce Crime does not pay... as well as politics. -- A. E. Newman Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -- Steve Wright Cynic: A person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. -- Shoaff Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. -- R. Geis Death: To stop sinning suddenly. -- Elbert Hubbard Democracy: The worship of Jackals by Jackasses. -- H. L. Mencken Divorce: Having your genitals torn off through your wallet. -- Robin Williams Do not merely believe in miracles; rely on them. -- Finagle Don't be humble... you're not that great. -- Golda Meir Don't create a problem for which you do not have the answer. -- Burke Don't force it, get a larger hammer. -- Anthony Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. -- Scottish Proverb Don't say yes until I finish talking. -- Darryl Zanuck Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. -- Hubbard Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree. -- Russell Long Drive carefully. We are overstocked. -- sign in junkyard Earth is a great funhouse without the fun. -- Jeff Berner Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped. -- last words of Groucho Marx Either that wallpaper goes, or I do. -- last words of Oscar Wilde Engineers... they love to change things. -- Leonard McCoy MD Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. -- Woody Allen Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. -- Lieberman Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. -- Atwood Everything is always done for the wrong reasons. -- O'Brian Everything put together falls apart sooner or later. -- Simon Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget. -- Miller Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -- Olivier Fill what's empty; empty what's full; scratch where it itches. -- Longworth Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity. -- Robert Firth Football, like religion, brings out the best in people. -- Larry Chapman For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction. -- Anthony Battista For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. -- Harrison For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. -- Main Fortune favors the lucky. -- Tom Weller Freedom is just chaos, with better lighting. -- Alan Foster Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. -- Murray Give me chastity and continence, but not just now. -- St. Augustine Go away. I'm all right. -- last words of H. G. Wells Go to Heaven for the climate but Hell for the company. -- Mark Twain God don't make mistakes. That's how He got to be God. -- Archie Bunker Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored. -- last words of George Saunders Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some. -- Wiker Grub first, then ethics. -- Bertolt Brecht Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. -- Ogden Nash He who hesitates is a damned fool. -- Mae West He who is still laughing hasn't yet heard the bad news. -- Bertolt Brecht He who shouts the loudest has the floor. -- Swipple He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks. -- Chinese proverb HELP! MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN! -- E. E. CUMMINGS Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. -- Ray Bandy How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? -- Charles de Gaulle How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to reach the ground. -- Lincoln I am a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor I am a Libra. Libras don't believe in astrology. -- Al Hibbs I am dying beyond my means. -- last words of Oscar Wilde, sipping champagne I am going to live forever, or die trying! -- Spider Robinson I am not a crook. -- Richard Nixon I am not a lovable man. -- Richard Nixon. I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. -- Will Rogers I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. -- the Wizard of Oz I do desire we may be better strangers. -- Shakespeare I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. -- Brilliant I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae West I hate quotations. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been in more laps than a napkin. -- Mae West I have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face is up. -- Dave Barry I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx I have heard about people like me, but I never made the connection. -- McLean I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. -- Albran I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. -- Wilde I have ways of making money that you know nothing of. -- John D. Rockefeller I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. -- Bill Hoest I know on which side my bread is buttered. -- John Heywood I love mankind... It's people I hate. -- Schulz I may not be the world's greatest lover, but number seven's not bad. -- Allen I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. -- Brilliant I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. -- Woolcott I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. -- Marx I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation. -- G. B. Shaw I promise we would only loose ten to twenty million TOPS! -- Dr. Strangelove I really had to act; 'cause I didn't have any lines. -- Marilyn Chambers I shot an arrow into the air and it stuck. -- graffiti in Los Angeles I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Steve Wright I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: Let the Wookee win. -- CP30 I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. -- Nash I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. -- Mae West I want to achieve immortality through not dying. -- Woody Allen I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. -- Groucho Marx I would have made a good pope. -- Richard Nixon I would like to lick apricot brandy out of your navel. -- Cerebus I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here? -- Harold Urey I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Allen Ice cream cures all ills. Temporarily. -- Seleznick If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly. -- G. K. Chesterton If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. -- Paul Beatty If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average. -- Leonard Levinson If at first you don't succeed, your successor will. -- Lord Birdwood If God is so great, how come everything he makes dies? -- George Carlin If I had any humility I would be perfect. -- Ted Turner If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. -- Sheridan If little else, the brain is an educational toy. -- Tom Robbins If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will. -- Silverman If parents would only realize how they bore their children. -- G. B. Shaw If the probability of success is not almost one, it is damn near zero. -- Ellis If the shoe fits, it's ugly. -- Gold If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? -- Art Hoppe If we all work together we can totally disrupt the system. -- Brilliant If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it? -- Ann Edwards-Duff If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants. -- Zisla If you are not very clever you should be conciliatory. -- Benjamin Disraeli If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. -- J. Paul Getty If you cannot convince them, confuse them. -- Harry S Truman If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos. -- Stoppard If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. -- Slous If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours. -- Clarence Day If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it. -- Coolidge If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class? -- Hempstone If you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home. -- Erma Bombeck If you look like your passport photo, you aren't well enough to travel. -- Fuch If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break. -- Schmidt If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it. -- Kasspe If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. -- Wright If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all. -- Ronald Reagan Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery. -- Jack Paar In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved. -- Butler Irrationality is the square root of all evil. -- Douglas Hofstadter Is there life before death? -- Belfast Graffito It ain't loafing unless they can prove it. -- Dick Brown It is bad luck to be superstitious. -- Andrew Mathis It is better for civilization to go down the drain than to come up it. -- Allen It is better to remain childless than to father an orphan. -- Tom Weller It is easier to take it apart than to put it back together. -- Washlesky It is kind of fun to do the impossible. -- Walt Disney It is more than magnificent -- it is mediocre. -- Sam Goldwyn It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. -- Phil White It is not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either. -- Boston mayor Kevin White It is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for. -- epitaph It was such a beautiful day I decided to stay in bed. -- W. Somerset Maugham It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. -- Wright It's not easy being green. -- Kermit Journalism is literature in a hurry. -- Matthew Arnold Knocked; you weren't in. -- Opportunity Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions. -- Henry Camp Life begins at the centerfold and expands outward. -- Miss November, 1966 Life without caffeine is stimulating enough. -- Sanka ad Little things come in small packages. -- Tom Weller Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence. -- Kettering Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -- H. L. Mencken Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose thy neighborhood. -- Louise Beal Machines have less problems. I'd like to be a machine. -- Andy Warhol Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it. -- Fred Allen Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. -- Lily Tomlin Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to. -- Mark Twain Mankind... infests the whole habitable Earth and Canada. -- Ambrose Bierce Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. -- R. Drabek Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk; cut with an axe. -- Ray Meeting: A gathering where the minutes are kept and the hours lost. -- Gourd Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. -- Groucho Marx Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. -- Groucho Marx Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. -- Oscar Wilde Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue. -- J. K. Galbraith Most general statements are false, including this one. -- Alexander Dumas Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like. -- Bennett My family history begins with me, but yours ends with you. -- Iphicrates My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. -- Wilde Neckties strangle clear thinking. -- Lin Yutang Never eat anything bigger than your head. -- Kliban Never eat more than you can lift. -- Miss Piggy Never have any children, only grandchildren. -- Gore Vidal Never laugh at live dragons. -- Bilbo Baggins Never offend with style when you can offend with substance. -- Sam Brown Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. -- Hartley No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next. -- Howe Nonsense. Space is blue and birds fly through it. -- Heisenberg Nothing can be done in one trip. -- Snider Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. -- Tussman Nothing recedes like success. -- Walter Winchell Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. -- Mark Twain Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee. -- Kim Hubbard Nuclear war would really set back cable. -- Ted Turner Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. -- Plato Often it is fatal to live too long. -- Racine Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to conceive. -- Herold On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. -- W. C. Fields's epitaph Only fools are quoted. -- Anonymous Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. -- Ducharme Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing. -- Roy Ash Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it. -- Alex Schure Paper is always strongest at the perforations. -- Corry Paradise is exactly like where you are, only MUCH, MUCH better. -- Anderson People will buy anything that is one to a customer. -- Lewis Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth. -- Don Marquis Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage. -- Ryan Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long. -- Nash Proofreading is more effective after publication. -- Barker Reality -- what a concept! -- Robin Williams Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs. -- Lily Tomlin Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity. -- Alvy Smith Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -- Dick Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- von Braun Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. -- Wright Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant. -- Swayze Satisfaction guaranteed, or twice your load back. -- sign on septic tank truck Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing. -- James Thurber Seek simplicity -- and distrust it. -- Alfred Whitehead Sex is dirty only when it's done right. -- Woody Allen Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. -- Swami X Showing up is 80% of life. -- Woody Allen Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. -- Fletcher Knebel Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -- Sigmund Freud Spare no expense to save money on this one. -- Samuel Goldwyn Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism. -- Donald Kaul Teenagers are two year olds with hormones and wheels. -- Will Limon That must be wonderful; I don't understand it at all. -- Moliere The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. -- Clifton Fadiman The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. -- Sandy Cooley The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W. C. Fields The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal. -- Blair The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. -- Mark Twain The cow is a machine that makes grass fit for us people to eat. -- John McNulty The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk. -- Ogden Nash The fact that it works is immaterial. -- Ogborn The fewer the data points, the smoother the curve. -- May The first myth of management is that it exists. -- Heller The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. -- Ehrlich The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. -- Shakespeare The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization. -- Alan Coult The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. -- Einstein The idea is to die young as late as possible. -- Ashley Montague The more things change, the more they stay insane. -- Tom Weller The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey. -- Andy Warhol The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. -- Oscar Wilde The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. -- Oscar Wilde The optimum committee has no members. -- Norman Augustine The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum. -- Finagle The race is not always to the swift... but that's the way to bet. -- Runyon The secret of life is to look good at a distance. -- Snoopy The sex act is the funniest thing on the face of this Earth. -- Diana Rigg The shortest distance between two points is through hell. -- Brian Clark The shortest distance between two points is under construction. -- Altito The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. -- Ogden The supernova makes Mt. St. Helens and Krakatoa look puny. -- Time Magazine The weather at home improves as soon as you go away. -- Gomme The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. -- Sean O'Casey The worst you can say about God is that he's an underachiever. -- Woody Allen There are more things in heaven and Earth than anyplace else. -- Tom Weller There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. -- Kissinger There is a green, multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder. -- Spock There is always more hell that needs raising. -- Lauren Leveut There is exactly one true categorical statement. -- John Kessenich There is no problem a good miracle can't solve. -- Shick There is no room in the drug world for amateurs. -- Raoul Duke There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. -- Dali They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... -- last words of General Sedgwick Things are more like they are today then they ever were before. -- Eisenhower Things will get better despite our efforts to improve them. -- Will Rogers This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. -- Winston Churchill This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli, on physics paper Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. -- Olinghouse Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. -- Ben Franklin Time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so. -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in LA. -- Wright To generalize is to be an idiot. -- William Blake To YOU I am an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. -- Woody Allen Toe: A part of the foot used to find furniture in the dark. -- Rilla May Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. -- Mae West Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. -- Judy Garland Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy. -- Han Solo Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it. -- Twain Twenty percent of zero is better than nothing. -- Walt Kelly Two can live as cheaply as one for half as long. -- Howard Kandel Two heads are more numerous than one. -- Tom Weller Two is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2. -- Grabel Two wrongs are only the beginning. -- Kohn Under every stone lurks a politician. -- Aristophanes Wagner's music is better than it sounds. -- Mark Twain We are living in a golden age. All you need is gold. -- Robertson We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one. -- John Fisher We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same. -- Swift We are the people our parents warned us about. -- Jimmy Buffet We can loan you enough money to get you completely out of debt. -- sign in bank We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure. -- Richard Nixon We don't have to protect the environment; the Second Coming is at hand. -- Watt We have them just where they want us. -- James Kirk Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise. -- John Heywood What can't be said, can't be said. And it can't be whistled, either. -- Tirtha What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. -- Thomas Key What is research but a blind date with knowledge? -- Will Harvey What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? -- Ursula LeGuin What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? -- J. D. Farley What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn? -- Peter Beagle What! Me worry? -- Alfred E. Newman What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean. -- Fry When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. -- Mark Twain When God created two sexes, he might have been overdoing it. -- Charles Smith When I look at my children, I often wish I had remained a virgin. -- L. Carter When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better. -- Mae West When Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. -- Tom Lehrer When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. -- Dylan Thomas When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. -- Lynch When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. -- Hunter Thompson When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. -- LBJ Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"? -- Hattie McDaniel Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than horses? -- Liddy Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? -- Lily Tomlin Why was I born with such contemporaries? -- Oscar Wilde Yawning is an orgasm for your face. -- Gunvar Ingeborg You can observe a lot just by watchin'. -- Yogi Berra You know you are a little fat if you have stretch marks on your car. -- Cyrus You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge. -- Whistler You won't skid if you stay in a rut. -- Frank Hubbard You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin Youth is too good to be wasted on the young. -- G. B. Shaw [He] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Churchill [Nuclear war]... may not be desirable. -- Edwin Meese III