Yeah, sort of like a Dr. Seuss-ish diagnosis...

     Excuse me sir, but I need your aid.
     If you will help me you will get paid.
     I have a problem with my car.
     It's the one right here, without a star.

	I tell you now this car won't go.
     But won't it budge, or just move slow?
        This car won't go to and fro,
        It just won't move, no no No NO!

     Then can you tell me what is bad?
     Or maybe I should just ask Dad?
        I will tell you why your car stands still.
        Your car is sick, your car is ill.
        You need to have it fixed up now
        And I happen to know exactly how.

	The problem here is not very good,
	You've got a mouse under you hood.
     A mouse under the hood of my car
     That stops me from going near or far?
     Is that why my car will not go?
     Is that why it won't budge or just move slow?

	The mouse, you see, was feeling cold.
	And late one night while feeling bold
	It wandered past the mimmseymold,
	And up into your manifold.

	And once inside it went to sleep
	It did not even have to count any sheep.
	And once awake, it began to creep
	Around the engine block (so steep!).

	And then the mouse did build a house.
	A house for the mouse's spouse.
	And the mouses's spouse moved into the house
	The house for the spouse of the mouse.
     You mean to say under my hood, 
     there's a mouse's spouse's house, that's not good!

	But wait a bit and you will see, 
	How your car's illness came to be,
	The mouse brought his friend, a little flea,
	And together the two of them planted a tree.

     A tree, you say under my hood!
     A mouse and flea?  This is not good!

	The mouse and flea climbed up the tree,
 	And can you guess what they did see?

     They saw the house, they saw the mouse,
     the spouse of the mouse that built the house.
	Well yes they did, they did see that, 
	But they also saw a pussycat.
	The pussycat was on a mat, 
	And on the mat the pussycat sat.

	This gave the mouse an aweful fright
	It was a most disturbing sight!
	For cats and mice will start to fight.
	They'll fight and fight throughout the night.

	The mouse asked his friend the flea,
	"What can I do, oh please help me?"
	"If I were you and you were me,
	Why then I'd flee," thus spoke the flea.

	So the mouse took his spouse and left the house
	And the flea and tree were left to be.
     So the mouse and spouse have left my car.
     Are they near or are they far?

	The mouse has left and gone away.
	How far he went how long he'll stay,
	These things I don't know, I cannot say.
	I only know he left yesterday.

     So, tell me please, I need to know
     Will my car soon be able to go
     Or will I need to call for a tow
     I wonder high, I wonder low.

	The problem with your car, you see
	Is that the mouse had left the tree.
	The tree started out rather small,
	But now has grown to be quite tall.

	And when a tree becomes quite tall, 
	It makes your gas mileage start to fall,
	And then the car begins to stall.
	And that is it, and that is all.

     This is not nice, this is not good,
     I have a tree under my hood.
     How do I get rid of this tree?
     How can I do it, oh my oh me.
     Because my car will no go,
     It won't go fast, it won't go slow.
     It will not move to and fro, 
     It still is ill, oh no No NO.

	Do not worry so, my friend,
	You troubles here soon will end
	The call for help, I did send,
	And soon your car, my helper shall mend.

	For one thing can always move a plant
	And that is my little friend X, the ant.
	The ant can move any sort of plant, 
	For he'll never say never, he can't say can't.

     And so his friend the ant did come.
     He had a little X, on his little ant thumb.
     He jumped into the hood, and there came a hum
     Though I didn't know where the hum came from.

     And then there was a big loud "pop"
     And then the hum suddenly did stop.
     And out of the hood a tree did crop.
     Then out came X the ant, with one last hop.

	And now my friend, your car will go, 
	It will go fast, it will go slow
	It will go here, it will go there,
	It will go around almost anywhere.

     And now my car is working fine. 
     And not even a single left over vine.
     Though it's got a lingering smell of pine,
     I do not think this is a bad sign.

     There's only one thing that troubles me.
     That's whatever happened to the mouses friend the flea.
     He's probably on land, or on the sea,
     And even if he's not, that doesn't bother me.