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"Suck it, everyone."
-- Emily to...everyone at Connect-Four-Pong (July 2022).
"How was the dump this morning, Gavin?"
-- TMI or just someone who saw Gavin arriving while they left the
Recycling and Solid Waste Center? (August 2022)
"I don't want to open up a can of...pandora's box."
-- While it was just a thought shift mid-sentence, I think it's
a good turn of phrase. Claude Roux (September 2022)
I've decided that once I finish this bunch I'm not planting more
till spring (other than the hundreds of bulbs that I ordered [...]).
-- Shoshe is a Master Gardener; to her, planting a few hundred
bulbs barely even merits mentioning. (October 2022).
"I love how Alan's corrections are incorrections."
-- Emily describes how Alan interrupts a story telling (October 2022).
"Your cowering blocked my lane."
-- While on D in ultimate, I heard footsteps rapidly closing, didn't
see where, and wanted to avoid a collision. To be fair, it was a
true statement and Ray said it without malice (October 2022).
"The power in New Orleans is as dirty as the water is....and the politics."
-- Daryl isn't only dealing with flickering lights (October 2022).
"It's one of my biggest joys in life."
"And one of my biggest pet peeves."
-- Ray and Emily have diametrically opposed opinions on the
topic of falling alseep on the couch (November 2022).
Alan: "He hit my dick!"
Allison: "Hypocrits get hit in the dick."
Alan: "This is not Duck Hunt!"
Kenji: "This is not Duck Hunt. This is Dick Hunt."
Nerf guns + Connect Four sounded like a great game.
And it was, for everyone except Alan (December 2022).
I think the worst of the travel issues will be today because
it will switch from rain to snow very rapidly and it will be
a lot of black guys.
-- Email from a smartphone text-to-speech translation, which took
some work recognizing "black ice". I think that's as far as I
can go, humor-wise, with this one (December 2022).
I'm not going to brag too much but I was kind of a child prodigy at
being able to distinguish solids from liquids.
-- Sue describes her skills at discerning cat pee from cat treats
in a cat carrier, despite an owner's doubts (January 2023).
"You missed the part where I was harrassing Ray."
"I'm OK with it."
"We know."
-- Ashley catches Emily up to what she missed while away from
the table at Chilis after a pickup game (January 2023).
"Any dog can be a puppy if you love it enough."
-- Garret (February 2023).
"Frank, you are more drunk than Korea right now."
-- It's rare to hear an Irishman tell someone that they have had
enough beer. Not me, and meant all of Korea (March 2023, 12:56am).
"They have another way of thinking. And that way is stupid."
-- True words of wisdom from Ursula of Stuttgart (March 2023).
At a wine tasting at a vineyard in Germany, the hostess had been informed
2 people in our large group were vegetarians and wanted to accomodate them.
So once we were all seated she asked, "Are there are two 'wegians' here?"
At our table, we were looking around trying to figure out who or what a
'wegian was. I helpfully offered, "Jens-Petter is from Norway." And then
felt the (comic) need to add, "Fucking 'wegians..."
-- The joke was on me. Not only was there nothing but water for me
to drink, but the only food was pizza, so I was completely screwed,
though I don't think I got COVID there (March 2023).
"It was fun...when we thought it was about to end."
-- The best part of the game Human Punishment for Emily (April 2023).
[A couple bring their injured dog to a vet office. One is arguing with
the vet about why they're not doing work for free. Meanwhile...]
The girlfriend was hysterical crying so she went outside to cry a lot.
Then she proceeded to drop trou and piss in the bushes
[...]
When it was pointed out that the woman could have peed in the actual
bathroom that was closer than where she decided to pee in the bushes
the boyfriend said "she's a little bit country".
So was Marie Osmond, but I don't think she peed in the bushes.
I don't want to know what a little bit rock and roll is then.
-- I wasn't sure if Sue knew of the Donnie and Marie show,
but she did and scores the point (April 2023).
"I could do it now, but I've followed the sunken cost fallacy this far,
so I might as well go all the way."
-- Noah discusses why it's better to wait till the end of the game
to get water, rather than grabbing some while walking past his
water bottle between a point in the frisbee game (June 2023).
I didn't celebrate Sukkot growing up, but always enjoyed the sukkah at my
childhood friend's house, so in a moment of pandemic boredom, Garret and I
built one for the chickens and gave them a little feast.
-- Maybe Elisabeth keeps kosher chickens or her chickens
keep kosher (June 2023).
"My mother is my meat mule."
-- Great monosyllabic alliteration when Jessica mentioned the
convenience of having a relative in the NYC area. She didn't
use a contraction for "is", so I won't cheat (July 2023).
If not, if you want to give me a shit for each sponsor I will get them
distributed.
-- Yes, Alan made a simple typo for shirts, but it's just too good
to pass up and I don't have THAT many shits to give (July 2023).
"I have important duties. And not just because I'm going to the restroom."
-- Breaking (wind?) news from Alan (July 2023).
"Are those poison-berries?"
"No, thy're choke cherries."
-- I was joking about those red berries. Shoshe wasn't (July 2023).
"I do not feel comfortable saying no when a Jewish mother is offering me food."
-- How Elisabeth got stuck with several pounds of lox and other items
by the mother of the bride at the end of a post-wedding breakfast
held in Ithaca where everyone else was from out of town (July 2023).
[And on the topic of food at Jewish weddings...]
I have been to weddings in my family where assessments of the event
quality and future prospects for the couple were based entirely on the
quantity and quality of smoked and pickled fish.
Sample of overheard conversation:
Uncle Abe: "They ran out of whitefish salad when the buffet line was
halfway done!"
Uncle Stan: "And what they called lox? It was falling apart and
stringy! Such garbage."
Uncle Abe #2 (note: all of my great uncles were named either Abe or Stan):
"And no herring?"
Uncle Abe #3: "They won't last a year!".
-- Gavin's response to learning of the leftover lox (August 2023).
"Are we in a commited, exclusive relationship?"
"...I feel like I should say yes."
-- Match picked the correct answer to Kara's question (August 2023).
"I'd like to leave soon, I'm getting hungry."
"You're hungry like 90% of the time!"
-- Emily doesn't buy Kenji's excuse to leave pickup (August 2023).
"I'm trying to come up with a McConnell joke now but...uh..."
"You're freezing?"
-- Moof scores a topical zinger point against Frank (September 2023).
The list of previous selected "quotes of now" for 2023.
